Red Queen: Cal's Journal
by Elizabeth Boswell
Summary: Cal's POV in various important moments from Red Queen
1. AN

Funnily enough this was an english project (write journal entries from a dystopian book characters POV) and I chose Cal from Red Queen-and then decided to publish it because I actually thought it was worth it and others should be able to give their two cents.

This is my internal ramblings and explanation as to how I got the dates that are posted

Notes for me in piecing together the dates of the book:

Starts on first Friday, Saturday market and meet Cal, Sunday job and exposure, Monday deal is made. Three weeks later goes home and finds out shade died at least three weeks ago

Shade dead on July 27, 320 NE. Shade 'died' just before deal was made so…

Using 2015 (publishing year) as reference

First Friday, august 7 and so on. Date she finds out and goes home august 28 and joins guard,

_**Cal**_

**Diary entries:**

**Market Day, (meeting in the pub), Aug. 8**

**Queenstrial, Aug. 9**

**First day of training with Mare, Aug. 29**

**Dancing with Mare, (Both?), sept 12, **

**sept 13**

**The ball, aftermath (three parts; ball, chase, interrogation, prisoner escape) sept 14 **

**Whitefire travel day (day earlier than Mare)/public announcement, sept 15**

**First day in whitefire, convo about letting Julian go, sept 16**

**Red Dawn (two parts; explosions and convo, dad die), sept 19**

**Survival in the ring, sept 20**

**On the train, sept 21**

Whitefire travel day,

ball,

a dancing lesson with cal and kiss/Sara and game convo with Julian, sept 13

meeting with maven about Farley and targets/first dancing lesson/legion convo with Cal/elara outburst/meet Sara after training arena day sept 12

first training day, week later meeting with Farley sep5, week later is arena day, (two weeks after training day)

red dawn, survival next day, train same day (writing the next day)

there 15,

watch tv 16 and find Julian's left notes,

wandering around palace 17,

appearances 18 theater meeting with Farley in radioactive redtown Walsh dies

red dawn 19

(The format of the journal is as if he found his mother's old diary that had a pre-written introduction with a fill in date, it started as a daily log, until things went crazy and he started to write his feelings more and more,)


	2. Market day and Meeting Mare

Dear Diary, today is August 8

The day after First Friday is meant to be a day of routine, the people of Summerton and the Stilts trade at the market and the Silvers relax after showing off in the arena.

Of course, instead of preparing for Queenstrial, there was a bombing on Whitefire and several other government buildings in Archeon. Minor, yes, but it was The Scarlet Guard, and we cannot cover this up as a training method or weapons accident as we have before. I can just imagine the chaos that broke out in the market…I shudder thinking about the pain the Silvers definitely inflicted on nearby Reds.

After a. day of running around, sending servants with missives and checking with all of the other higher ups that remain in Archeon during the summer to see who exactly was hurt-no one, thankfully-and what needs to be repaired, which is very little. I imagine tomorrow will be worse, today is mostly about information gathering.

Though one thing I couldn't help but notice was that this attack seems to be more for attention than anything else. Then the other attacks on military training bases. They don't know what to target but know to make it public so as to not be censored out of public view.

I did have to spend hours in meetings with my father and other important persons, such as Lady Ara, the Panther and Colonel Macanthos, and other various higher ups in the military and political court to determine what we are going to do, and surprise surprise, it's to increase security measures on Reds. Scare them into submission with more displays of power. I would have called the meetings boring and useless if I hadn't been so disgusted.

To cool off, get away, and maybe possibly potentially have some fun, I went to a pub on the outskirts of the Stilts.

I ran into to someone that made the night very…interesting.

Though ran into would be the wrong way to phrase it, I caught her hand in my coat pocket,

Her name is Mare Barrow, and she's a Red. A thief. If I hadn't been trained since birth in fighting instinct I would not have known. She's very good.

It took only a mad look to have her breaking down…turns out she is being conscripted in a few weeks, with her brothers, and her sister can no longer avoid war through trading clothing because her hand was broken. Trying to steal for Mare.

I could just see her soul breaking, and her ribs. I tossed her the coin, then another.

I went home and got her a serving job, starting the next day. And conscription passes.

I cannot fully explain why; maybe it was the way she made my body heat up without conscious thought, warming me up from outside so much I saw her flush. Maybe it was the way she didn't ask for pity after breaking down, how she said others were worse off. She was selfless…

There is something about her…


	3. Queenstrial

Dear Diary, today is August 9

To be very honest, I will be shocked if I manage to get through all of this without forgetting anything, or my hands shaking so bad to make the scrip illegible.

Today was the Queenstrial, and the first day Mare Barrow would spend working, let alone directly as a servant in a palace.

It was meant to be another day of show, each of the noble's daughters going into the ring and showing off their abilities. Showing why they should be picked.

A complete formality seeing as Evangeline Samos had been picked informally months ago.

Things were going normally until Evangeline entered the arena and tore it up by the metal supports that she used as her demonstration; the whole building shook and creaked. Silvers gripped their tables and Reds gripped the walls or sunk to floor for balance.

If I hadn't been so focused on my father and his guards than I would have noticed Mare pitch over the rim of the spiral wall, falling over 4 dozen feet, the fall only to be broken by the shield.

A dome made of pure lightning that would surely kill her.

I'm pretty sure my blood temperature rose so high at her scream that I set a guard on fire through heat alone.

I leaned over with the intention of I don't know what, to catch her? How?! But something. Until the unthinkable happened…she landed on the shield and seemed to…absorb the bright purple bolts of electricity.

Instead of burning her it seemed to almost caress her, wrapping her in a bright sparking blanket, even breaking her fall on the very unforgiving arena floor.

I watched in awe of this girl, this Red. Of course, I did last night before she controlled electricity but that's beside the point. And it had nothing to do with her burned clothes.

She stared in amazement, as if she didn't know she could do that, and thinking back it seems quite obvious to me at least that that is in fact the case.

That is, until The King shouted a capture order; one that as a general, crown prince, and one of the better soldiers, had to follow. The sparks went out and she ran.

I ran faster than I ever had in training, needing to catch her first, I needed to be the first to catch her. Make sure what I do to bring her in would not cause her harm as the others surely would.

As only a thief could, she ran with quick and light feet, managing to make it very far in the tunnels before a dead end.

Her frightened eyes as she tried to summon her lightning will haunt me. I spoke words of apology will never make up for bringing her here, for catching her, for everything that has happened.

Placing her in the cells until she wakes up was horrible, what did she do to belong there? I saw, and still see, no reason.

And then of course Elara was sent to retrieve her, and to use her (in case very painful) ability to find out as much as possible first. Seeing Elara with Mare is not a sight I wish to ever see again. I am glad I am not a whisper, as I imagine her mind would so rife with terror and horror as to give me nightmares.

I listened with both horror and relief as the words came forth; not execution, to many people saw what happened, but to live in the palace under a new name and title, Mareena Titanos, lost Princess.

But I was once again struck dumb by this beautiful and beautifully intriguing girl when instead of crying or begging as her fate was spelled out, she bargained. Bargained for her brothers, sister, and friend to be released from the war.

Thinking back, only a few minutes it may be, I wonder how I made it to my chambers at all in my state of shock. Normally I write just before going to sleep but this had to written down as fast as possible so as to no be forgotten.

One moment of watching Mare Barrow be a subject of awe being forgotten would be tragic. If only I had an excuse to spend time with her and find out what made her stand up and bargain when others from her same upbringing would have cried.

What about her made me accidentally set someone on fire. That reminds me, I have a guard to talk to…


	4. First Day of Training

Dear Diary, today is August 29

Today was Mare's first day at training. Yes, manners are necessary to blend into court life and history is just a good thing to know, but why she was never trained in how to never use her powers, I shall forever wonder.

After last night's fiasco some changes had to be made.

While Maven's idea for Mare to see her family was not a bad one, the outcome was nearly disastrous. Turns out one of her brothers had not returned. I don't need to re-write everything but I do want to clarify the 'lost control' bit. No lightning bolts to see but the surrounding houses all lost power. I am still admittedly more than a little mad the little shithead got to comfort her first. I didn't rip his head off because I assumed him to be the friend, though he was rude.

I brought her back as soon as possible and made the adjustment to her schedule; she now has training with the rest of us.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, now I see I have just thrown her to the wolves.

I entered beside Rane, and notice that in my quick sweep of the room that Mare has already been irritated and frightened, likely by Evangeline who has a smug smile along with Sonya and Elane, and that she and Maven are off to the side of the grouping.

He's never been particularly social but this is just odd. Maybe after last night he feels a little guilty? I'll have to talk to him later, we have tomorrow relatively free…

Anyway, back to what happened, after all this a daily log, not a journal be my own daily planner, or mind healer.

It takes a few moments for Mare to become surprised, for Rane to dampen her spark-a true shame.

One thing said in her favor today is that her life has made her tough. She can run, even keep up with me, and take a hit, her advantage physical training is that she has gone her whole life without powers, so this is where she has the most experience and doesn't view powerlessness as a cripple.

However, this is where it becomes a cripple, her skills at using her abilities, let alone as a weapon, are horrendous; but she can learn. Quickly. Her first shot missed, I kept my mask in place, her next shot hit the target, and I clapped.

Throughout the day her first attempts were failures, while her second or third try were spot on.

That is the fastest I have ever seen anyone improve in my life, as a teacher, general, prince, or Silver. She kept up in training for advanced students on her first day of using her abilities.

If I wasn't so proud of her, I would be terrified. She could cripple anyone, even a kingdom, with her power. It's captivating.

Especially to a prince.


	5. Training Tournament and Dancing pt1

Dear Diary, today is September 12

This was the first interesting day after two weeks. No bombings, thank Caesar, and no long meetings. Everyone is busy preparing for the Parting Ball, servants scurrying around and most nobles either planning or packing.

No need to reiterate the boredom in more entries than necessary. Though it should be pointed that part of this routine is Mare training, surpassing some of the lower students completely.

As to be proven today, the last day of summer training is always a tournament.

Things move quickly; Maven goes first so I stand next to Mare (warily, as I do remember how my powers react to her- they very much still do, thank Caesar for training) as we watch him lose against Tirana, a nymph. A nymph who will beat him in terms of ability, especially as he put her in the corner. You have to beat them with your head little brother.

Things move quickly, Sonya beating Elane, and so on and so forth.

As the norm for the last few years, I am pitted against two; I toyed with them-stretched the fight to practice my blows but after I while I forced a yield.

With only a few people left, Evangeline decided to challenge Mare, and took no other answer than a yes. Not even my 'logical and reasonable' protests. Then _throws a knife at her! _

Bad news; bad for my temper and bad for her safety. If her blood spills…

I picked her up and gave her what I could, be faster than her, keep her moving, don't stop, and don't bleed.

It was brutal after Mare landed the first strike. For Evangeline; my little lightning girl tore apart all of Evangeline's metal spiders, and kicked her to the ground and started to fry her face. It was hard to not smile.

Until she got the upper hand, all of the metal in the arena in one giant beast that knocked Mare of…and scratched her face.

I intervened. It was easy for my fire to blow apart and melt the beast. Even easier to yell at my bitch of a fiancé, how one could be so petty and vindictive…

I left after that, needed to cool down. Not that I had much time before the soldier pageant as I have so lovingly named it. The Calore's have always been military based, but Mare gave me the idea…Silvers on the front lines, dressed as and fighting with Reds. The Lakelanders won't know what to do and hopefully the bloodshed can end.

Even if she was rude, and more than a little hurtful before the front-line revelation. The best part was that I managed to shock Mare into silence, and that I saw her fear when my soldier said I was leading them directly, the first to ever do so. Her fear _for me_. Maybe my thoughts aren't so one-sided…?

Which I will admit to myself is why I went to see her that night; I had excuses; she was a terrible dancer (of her own admission) and she had been attacked that morning.

I needed to be sure that she could dance well enough to be presentable, that she was okay.

Yeah, right.

But I offered my hand at her door, offering to teach her, and she took it, shivering.

She kept watching her feet, stumbling and mumbling the numbers. I laughed and let myself get lost, if only for a moment that no one can know about. Lost in the music, lost is the steps, and lost in my own fire's reaction to my hands on her waist. And as I suspected, without Lady Blonos breathing down her neck (as she is wont to do) it was easy for her pick up.

Until she brought up how many rules we were breaking, "Not even supposed to be alone with Maven," well at least I can say that I am doing him a favor, making sure she doesn't step on his toes. Even they are worth it.

But still, time for a subject change, namely, my other excuse.

But how on earth was I supposed to know that that would lead to a discussion about Sara Skonos? The best friend of my mother who was punished to never speak again for the horrible things she said in her grief.

I left very quickly after that, now only to reflect on it once more. I feel as if I could write pages after pages of my opinions over what happened, but I already have. I have written enough to fill a whole journal, one that will never be discovered from where I buried it. Wrote enough to realize that I am missing one major point of the story.

Enough to know that I don't want to find out what it is.


	6. Midnight Mistakes

Dear Diary, today is September 13

I did something monumentally stupid tonight.

More stupid than last night's decision to dance with Mare, more stupid than any and all conversations I have had with her.

I want it noted, if for no one but myself, that I did try to avoid her, we are both engaged to other people and I cannot afford to be caught in her seductive web.

But I am helpless to resist.

So, I continued the dancing lesson, then I kissed her.

I feel the urge to punch myself right now.

Today began pleasantly, no more training this close to the ball, preparations were in the final swing to that wasn't a concern and I got to relax all day essentially (as much I could anyway).

The dancing lesson even began with no tension. She had something on her mind, so I left her to it; if anything, it made her better, not focusing on her feet as she had been. She was doing so well, and was so distracted, that I lowered her into a dip, shocking her once again.

Seeing her ready to talk I asked if she was nervous about the ball, I know it wasn't what was on her mind but maybe it would help to think of something else. And once again I come to hate my subject change.

I should think these things more often.

I didn't want to talk about being king. I didn't want to talk about going off to war, not seeing her every day. I didn't want to talk about Evangeline. I didn't want to talk about missing her. Way more than I have any right to.

They are too discomforting to think about right now, not with her right in front of me.

With her in my arms and thoughts of her leaving in my head, I acted irrational for the first time in my life. I did something I wanted to do, not helped by the look in her eyes; they don't hide as much as she would like to think. Not to me at least.

So, I kissed her.

Heat exploded inside me, and I could feel the tingling in my lips telling me that her lightning reacted just as my fire does. But I paid it no mind other than realize it with a thrill. My lips on hers, my hands on her waist, I could feel her shiver, feel the slightest spark dancing on my skin, as if her abilities were caressing me in a way she couldn't. I may or may not have groaned…I don't know. I pulled away before my knees could completely collapse, and watched her leave the ball room.

I need to go the garage and build something, I can't sleep with these thoughts running through my head. I'll read a textbook it I have to.


	7. The Ball

Dear Diary, today is September 14

Well, technically it's September 15, but I had no time to rest, even now I can barely keep my eyes open and I wonder if I will even finish this in one sitting, maybe tomorrow on the boat to Archeon…

I need split tonight into four parts, otherwise I will never get it all down; the ball, the attack and chasing down the attackers, interrogating them, and making sure no one saw Mare and Uncle Julian leave with them.

Part 1: the ball

I was decked out in all of my family colors and military regalia. I was standing with Evangeline, my father, and Elara when Mare and Maven made their way towards us. Maven was dresses similarly to me; red, black, and silver colored suit, not a military uniform. Meanwhile Mare was a vision in a purple and silver dress that flowed around her, perfectly matching the color of her lightning. Even the silver paint to disguise her blood did not detract from the image.

Tense pleasantries were exchanged, and then it was time for my least favorite part of this whole event. Lining up the dais and formally welcome (and be bowed to) by everyone present.

The Samos house is first, Ptolemus Samos, my future brother in law, was the first to greet us, followed by House Iral, led by Ara and on and on and on it will go.

Mare seemed to tense up at seemingly random intervals, until I noticed that they were the particularly powerful persons in the political spectrum.

If only I had paid more attention…

While I noticed her becoming more and more agitated, I could do nothing but watch as Maven took her away to the balcony outside after almost having a breakdown after meeting with Belicos Lerolan.

The second the line has all passed through move to her but Maven takes her to the dance floor before I can reach her, and Evangeline drags me away as well. The first dance goes off without a hitch, both of us princes twirling our fiancés across the floor. I couldn't help but notice she had been more relaxed with me yesterday.

Two more songs pass until they leave, and... talk to a serving boy? It is entirely probable that she knew him before her life here, but why hesitate so long to pick up the champagne glass?

My mind is trying to tell me something important but I refuse to accept the idea.

I ignore them in favor of looking at my father-getting close to drunk if his voice and cheeks are any indication-telling another story to those who will listen.

I meet Mare's eyes across the room, the glass I her hand now, but she doesn't smile back, she looks the same as she did just before leaving for the balcony earlier.

Part 2: the attack and chase

The power goes out, maybe Mare felt something was wrong and didn't want to say anything? I did not have time to think then as chaos had immediately ensued.

I hear the thump of bodies on the floor, screams from those standing next to the injured, and the soldiers yell out the location of those with the weapons (now to be known as bow and arrows) to be in the alcoves.

With the power still out, I launch a fire ball to light up the room., people run, Elara drags out Maven while guards drag my father, family members have to be dragged away from the people on the floor and Mare is still on the middle of the room. No one is protecting her.

I shouted and she didn't move, I begged and she opened her eyes with a roar and tumbles and lights come back on. The apology that came afterwards I can only assume was because it took so long to bring them back on.

I knelt next her and felt my heart stop, because for the moment I had forgotten that the silver blood on her dress and skin could not have been hers. She hadn't been hit, but at the time… It's a harsh reminder-another reason why I cannot be with her. But I could at least have one person drag her to safety-Lucas, who still had not left.

I go to the Sentinels, catching the handgun with my finger on the trigger and fire in my hand in a perfect move, my training taking over and emotions going dark for a time-time to start hunting.

Lucas drags Mare away while I and the Sentinels run for the alcoves and branching hallways on the second floor-towards the outside.

What came next, I shall forever regret, I let the fireball loose and an exposed gas main exploded-at the time I thought it was just a bomb and redoubled my efforts to catch them. Several people died tonight, a majority being my fault. Yes, the Scarlet Guard shot people first, by the hit gas main that killed even more was me. I'll deal with that in my nightmares later, but back to the recording.

After the explosion we waited for another shake, another bomb when none came I ran so fast I had trouble aiming the gun in my hand to shoot them. Shot in the leg sucks, especially when there isn't a healer to fix it minutes later. No running for the leader. A young blonde woman with a scar on her neck. Of course, we only caught four of them the near end of the trail, they were in the drainpipes. I wasn't very shocked to discover Walsh with them, she was a servant who would know the pipes.

We bound them in cuffs and marched them down to the cells-three guards to one Red.

Part 3: the interrogation

After the prisoners were in the cells I saw the shithead from Mare's house. That little alarm in the back of my mind bared again, a little louder this time. But how was she to know that her childhood friend was a member of a terrorist organization.

If he was the one holding the tray of champagne then she may have been the unwitting signal-get the former friend to pick up the glass and make sure she can't turn the lights back on. But there was still information that I needed to know, information that she could help me get.

We went down to the bunker, in all of our singed and torn glory, to let the residents there know it was safe, but I took Mare with me back down to the cells.

Walsh, the shithead, the blonde woman, and Tristan stand (or lean) in the cell.

I manage to reign in Evangeline long enough to ask the question. Turns out he was a lumberyard worker, and she gave him the job just as I had for her.

As protocol and expectations dictate, torture is required for information gathering if the Queen is not present. I turned to Sentinel Gliacon. I hope Mare will forgive me for this…but I saw no hint of such in her eyes.

Evangeline, the bitch that she is, demands the Mare stay and points to the blonde as the first subject.

I ask the typical questions "how many of you are there?" "where are the others?", I get a headbutt and no answer for my troubles. Maybe I need to work on my glare, but something tells me that that would not work on her anyway.

Sentinel Gliacon works her way up the woman's arm, freezing her from the inside out. And still not even a groan. I couldn't take any more, so I called a stop. Let them assume to start over, but I was grateful for Ptolemus' interruption., well, that is until he stabbed one of our prisoners with a cell bar through the chest. I was going to intervene when Mare did it for me, almost cooking him from the inside out, giving a good excuse as she did so I'll admit. I know it was only because of his next target, but they don't need to.

Maven, being the f cucumber that he is, gets everyone to leave. Let Elara do the dirty work tomorrow, let the people see their king safe. Pay the dead respects and such.

We make our way to the ball room once again, and spill the numbers. Three dead in the shooting, so there were only four targets, yup, nightmares. Eight in the explosion, and fifteen wounded, they would heal.

Mare should not have to see this, the children on the floor, even I want to look away. But I have to look strong as The King makes his speech. I have to look in her terrified and horrified eyes.

Part 4: the escape

Okay, I lied, I did get some sleep. An hour, two at most. Don't ask me how I knew, but I just knew that she would do something, so when the power went out in my room, I noticed. Instead of trying to follow who I deeply suspected who was outside, I went to the camera room and followed the blackouts. They went from the royal wing (the side of the palace with my family's rooms) down to the cells; it hovered down there then went back out the hallway and stopped. Assuming they went through the pipes I left the room and followed the trail.

The guards were all dazed, having no recollection of the last few minutes.

Why I didn't immediately know Julian was involved… I'm losing my touch. I explained away my presence as paranoia, wanting to do my own final sweep, mentioning that exhaustion we all must feel by now.

I hope she knows what she is doing.

If the queen were to find out what she, or worse, Julian, had done…there would be hell to pay.

And now I must sleep, if only for the next few hours until dawn when I will make my way to Archeon.


	8. Traveling and Proclamations

Dear Diary, today is September 15

I woke up extremely early today and he first thing I found out after waking up at the crack of dawn was that my legion would not be allowed to fight at the front! Of all of the things father could have demanded! I was prepared to stay behind for a few weeks, see if the threat can be dealt with, but to not be allowed to go?! The Calore family is a military family, we have since the beginning fought alongside our troops. Even if that tradition had been warped in recent years I wanted to bring honor back into the royal family, fight alongside those that were dying but now I cannot even go on a cushiony trip to a tent with the commanders.

But I must not get off topic; which I seem to be doing more often than not these days.

I was exhausted all day, waking up at the crack of dawn after yesterday…if I were to count I would say I got maybe a total of 5 hours of sleep, including those of before the breakout. I was scheduled to go with the rest of the family, but now with the recent more brazen attacks by the Scarlet Guard I had to leave early with the rest of my legion to arrive at the palace early and set up the security and open up the palace before the King, Queen, and 'the rest' arrive.

The trip was even worse than previous years, now the Reds are forcefully being kept at the river banks, Silver guards whipping those not paying attention. Grey Town was as bleak as ever, no guards necessary

But I digress, the guards were back in position and rank, the rooms were set up and everyone had arrived by midday.

Time for the speech on the palace steps. As mad and tired as I was, I could still see Mare's soul crumble as she said the words that condemned her people.

How she had seen the grace of the royal family, had pleasure of working as a Red, and how she supports all of the new rules. Sunset curfew, to be enforced my corporal punishment, double security, twice as many manned security outputs, all crimes to be punished by execution, and-here is where here voice finally broke-lowering the conscription age to fifteen.

We all are going to bed early today. I would say I will have nightmares but I think I am too tired.


	9. First Day at Whitefire

Dear Diary, today is September 16

Today was one of the only times in my life that I have slept in. And to be really honest (with myself at least), I didn't want to get out of bed. The ball was a disaster and how Mare has been treating me since then…it's like I kicked her non-existent puppy. What did I do to make her hate me? Interrogate the Reds in the cells? They were terrorists and had attacked a ballroom of people and there was nothing that I could do about it! She knows all of this. She sees the soldier loyal to the kingdom and king before anything. The Prince, with a heart burned by its own fire. If only she knew.

There was nothing on the schedule to do today, or any day really for the next few weeks. Unless you count the typical kingly duties; seeing some peoples grievances, signing papers for this or that, training new soldiers, enforcing the laws, making new ones if needed, meeting with the nearby nobles for organization purposes. The shit that keeps this place running, keeps the façade working.

Only now I also have the task of pouring over the scant amount of information we have on the Scarlet Guard. It falls to me to figure out their next move, their headquarters, their leader, and their motivations, their weakness, their spies.

I at least know their motivations, I am not so blind as other Silvers, I know what we have done.

I don't want to think that I know their spy.

In my aimless wandering ending in the sitting room, spurred on by thoughts that I have for once written down, Mare found. I expected her to look just as broken today, I have a good guess as what was playing on the TV in her room when she woke up. What she heard herself say all over again.

But that is covered by some hopeful gleam, until her anger at me overtook that. I wonder what she was holding that made her feel a positive emotion. But she has thoroughly decided that I am not deserving of that information.

So yes, she was angry about the terrorists, she sees me as a monster. Nice conformation.

But she thinks I can change, that I can change the lives of Reds everywhere. Does no one see what would happen? If I were to raise the rights of Reds as drastically as what she obviously hopes, if it were anything other than so subtle so as not to be noticed, the Silvers would revolt. Reds would be attacked at all corners, at any time.

Doesn't the Guard see this? Their violent revolution, as justified the motivations are their methods are just proving the point of so many Silvers words; that they are savages, monsters. It wasn't true until they started to attack and kill. They are starting a war that they will lose, dragging the rest of the Reds with them.

The bloodshed of a revolution would be futile, and not worth the amount change that would come.

Am I the only one that sees this? It must be slow and steady. I refuse to start that war.

But I didn't want her to look at me like that anymore so I told her what I _have_ done.

She must have thought me a fool to not see the signs, the blank spots in the security footage and security guards' memories. She must have thought that I had no heart at all that I would turn in my own uncle. My mothers brother. I cannot do anything about the execution order on his head, but I could give him time to leave, and make sure not even Mare could be prodded for his location.

One day I hope she can see all that I have done for her, how much I overlooked.

One day she won't see a monster.


	10. Red Dawn

Dear Diary, today is September 19

Red Dawn. That's what I shall call today. The day my world ended. The day I realized how much of an idiot had been. If I had seen, and not ignored the signs… It would have happened anyway.

I want to forget it ever happened, let alone write it down. But I must, and today will never be forgotten. The reminders are everywhere and will likely make a history book or two. I want an honest depiction before _he _taints it.

My day once again began at dawn, with the sound of an explosion. I grab my gear, not even changing my clothes, and run down the halls of the barracks. Everyone joining me as I go. To think I went through this all in my nightclothes…

They know I would have ruined them if they were anything less than practically leaving already by the time I had gathered everyone.

Running outside the palace gates I was greeted by the sight of the bridge in pieces. The government sector had been separated from the rest of the city in a few minutes. In that moment I was relieved, grateful even. It was early, no one was on the bridge and nothing else had gone up in flames. No casualties.

An attack to force isolation then. To single out the entire government of the kingdom to one small piece of land.

No matter.

That wasn't what was important, we had to find and apprehend the attackers.

We spread out in fan formation, looking in all of the nicks and crannies, the Guard has a habit of using underground hiding places, a few men have gone to get nymph to put out the fires while a few more have guns trained on the gates.

I should have known the second I saw her standing on the steps. It took her spelling it out to me to pull my head out of my ass.

I almost caved. So close.

I almost wish I had.

She screamed my name and my head whipped to see her standing in the square under a spotlight. At the time I was terrified, I went cold. What was she doing out here?

"Go back inside," I yelled, love struck fool that I was.

She grabbed my collar, "What if this is the price?" she asked. "You can save us," she said. I had the power to take the palace without a war, the power to bring change hard and fast. "March into the palace, make your father kneel," she said just before she kissed me.

It was just like the first time, my own fire consumed me from the inside and my knees went weak.

_Choose her!_ My mind screamed at me.

Her blood was found in the cells, she saved the Guard, she will be executed. Choose a new world. I had the army to do it.

I almost did. I came so close. I looked into her eyes and saw the woman that I wanted to save.

The woman who knew about this attack. The woman with ability to cause power outages. The woman who was a Red with strong opinions.

She was part of the Scarlet Guard, for who knows how long. My thoughts poured out of my mouth; the escape, the shooting, the bombing today…how many have you killed, Mare?

How many have you betrayed?

Maven runs out of the shadows, yelling for her run, and she shocks me away.

My men jump into the drains, shooting the terrorists as they go.

"How many starved? How many murdered? How many children taken away to die? How many, my prince" she spat the words back at me. Horrible, because they were true.

"I wish things were different". But they're not. And now never will be without bloodshed.

Mare and Maven-when and why he joined the Guard I wish I never knew-were cuffed, to be judged by the King.

The only ones allowed in the throne room are myself, the King, the Queen, Maven, Mare, and Rane.

The truth is laid bare; Maven and Mare planned the attacks, today and the ball.

"You've tainted my son!" the king shouted, if only we knew it was the other way around. She defended him, but they were both sentenced to death for treason and terrorism, and nothing I said could save him. Not that it mattered.

In the next moment Elara takes control over me and father, with Rane-no, Arven, he is not a friend-on her side, leaving us powerless along with Mare.

Julian was right, she is a monster. She did everything that my uncle and (would have been) pseudo aunt said.

The real shock came next, Maven was a better strategist and actor than I have ever given him credit for. He was working with him mother, playing all of us-even Mare-this whole time. It takes Mare a moment to catch on; to realized she had been played on all sides.

I scream for anyone, even my vindictive fiancé but the room is soundproof. A good idea at the time.

No one is coming. Enough time for Mare to think about all the ways she has been played; they let her break out the prisoners, Maven picked the targets for the Sun Shooting, they helped her dig this hole.

How Elara knew exactly what make Maven say for Mare to believe him.

Their main target becomes obvious when they turn father, they won't do anything though, Elara will make me do it-after striking me across the face as if I had insulted her by being born.

My legs move, my arms move, but I'm not the one doing it. There is a reason why whispers are feared; you can feel them inside your mind, controlling your body and there is nothing you can do about it.

Absolutely nothing, a will as strong as steel will still bow to the force.

I beg and plead and try to resist but it is futile.

I killed my own father. Removed his head my own sword.

I think my brain turned off for those seconds, I can't recall anything from just before the sword swung and I hear a scream.

I was confused when Elara screamed, but only for a moment; only some of this can be on camera (I absently think that some of the castle staff are on her side). Her crying over her husband and me covered in blood paints a horrible picture. "You killed him!" she screams.

We run, Mare dragging me at first. Sentinels follow us. My own legion train their guns on us. We can't win. Not unless _they_ want us to.

We surrendered.

They marched us the cells down below, the highest security with no less than ten guards next to the doors.

I know I have already written today but I need to make a note of our new location. It was a few hours, in which I sat in silence with Mare, before we were put in an armored car.

To the Bowl of Bones.

That bastard! Make an example of us, will he?! Use the most barbaric execution method we have, will he?!

Elara and him have been planning this for years it seems, with me and father playing the incompetent pawns, joined by Mare. It's not enough to make me kill mu own father. Not enough to take power to a bloody throne. Not enough to paint me as a monster.

He has to kill me for sport on camera to make a point!

How did I not see this?! How did I not see Elara for what she was? Why did I not listen to my Uncle in the numerous times he warned me?!

How was I such a fool?

The only consolation is that I will not have to live with this for much longer, no one has ever survived the Bowl.

If Maven hates me as much as it now seems he does, then he may let me survive and keep me in the castle; keep my alive with Elara digging up the memory of today forever. Keeping me on the brink of death and madness for as long as he finds enjoyment in my pain…

I haven't looked at Mare since our surrender, but not because I hate her. If I look at her I will lose all control.

I have always controlled myself well, but now I have gone numb from the onslaught. There are too many emotions to comprehend, too many to process. They push themselves back.

I imagine I will pass out when the dam breaks.


	11. Bowl of Bones

Dear Diary, today is September 20

We survived the Bowl of Bones. I don't know how. Mare is…I'll need time to think about her later but for now I'll just say she can fight and leave it at that. I don't know if I can get through this…

I woke up in the cells; the story had to spread and sink in, the anger had to rise to a fever pitch.

I have no way writing this in its entirety, there is much that I did not see and more that I don't understand.

After…yesterday…we were put in the cells, execution by the Bowl of Bones. Rane Arven was to be present so Mare would be powerless and myself at less than full strength.

We weren't supposed to win.

_She_ wasn't supposed to win.

But it seems no one has paid as much attention to her as I did, even Maven the Mastermind and Elara the Puppet Master.

They didn't see her learning, training. How fast she advanced, and worse (for them) didn't think about how she was used to fighting without powers. That she was used to this 'handicap', and didn't know that she was a marvelous thief who could think and adapt and survive _before_ she came here and trained.

Even when Maven revealed his reasoning (the depths of his depravity) to us in the cells before the fight, it never occurred to him that we may have chance.

Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised at our victory. Other than the fact that it was me and her against Arven, a strongarm, a lightbender, the Samos', and Lord Osanos.

At the beginning of the fight I tell Mare to leave them to me, and just survive, and I start.

The lightbender disappears and I throw out a wave of fire, hoping to catch him, I did but the important note is that sand wouldn't burn. I can't set anything of fire but them, if Osanos was not there anyway.

The fight truly began when the steam was created, masking the whole arena, leaving us as sitting ducks.

I lost track of what Mare was doing for the next few minutes, busy as I was with Ptolemus and Evangeline, I still threw the occasional fire ball against the strongarm and lightbender after Mare, who was doing an amazing job of surviving; she wasn't kidding, her foot work is on point. Though at the time I could spare no moment to find the pride and relief under all of my anger while fighting for my life.

She beat Stalain (the lightbender) by clawing his eyes out-. Evangeline was losing her mind in front of me.

I am so thoroughly out of ideas that this time I didn't even have to look for the relief I felt when Mare said she had one.

It worked.

Rhambos (the strongarm) and Osanos corner her. She plans on repeating Tirana's fight against Maven.

Standing in front of Arven, the strongarm throws another metal pipe, she ducks and Rane Arven is no long a problem.

Two down.

Of course, everyone was ignoring her in favor of watching Osanos try to drown me. Even the Samos' siblings watch me fight for air rather than make any more knives.

With her lightning back, she made quick work of Rhambos and Osanos.

I struggle for breath as Mare takes care of Evangeline. A storm was starting, and she runs out of the arena.

Osanos with finally killed my Mare and Ptolemus jumps on me, quickly losing without his sister as support.'

The arena has long since been empty, l fleeing when Rane Arven was killed, and Maven comes down surrounded by soldiers, Ptolemus fleeing after his sister.

I thought we were done, I sang the song the Mare and I had danced to, kissed to, and the storm broke, pouring rain and creating rivers of silver on the ground.

Maven goes for the kill, and lightning strikes. Did she do that?

The soldiers disperse and I grab Mare and run. Lightning strikes again. How is she doing this?

Apparently with a lot of effort as she collapses against me in the tunnel. Now, I thought, we are actually done.

Until muzzles poked up from the ground and shot the soldiers and grabbed us down into the underground tunnel or sewer.

The sewer was not the most disgusting place I have ever been, but it was long and tiring and it put on edge to be so close to these people.

The blonde woman, now I know to be named Farley, takes us an 'undertrain', whatever that is.

The Scarlet Guard saved us. I don't know why or how but I'm grateful for the break.

I wasn't cuffed, I wasn't gagged, and I wasn't blindfolded. I was mistrusted but even that was only so much. Enemy of my enemy is my friend here.

The only thing that broke my shell shock was that someone not named Kilorn, aka, the shithead, was holding Mare. Not that I have any ground to stand on, she probably hates me and thinks I hate her.

Nothing left to do today. Nothing left at all except to see where these people are taking us, and what they plan on doing to us when we get there.

I'm not so stupid as to ask for mercy.

But at the end of that day, there is one thing that still rings in my ears and begs for my attention; something Maven said before the Bowl.

His mother killed mine. Killed my siblings.

Sara was right. Julian was right.

And I can't apologize because they've been captured.

I may not ask for mercy, but I will ask for the opportunity to kill Maven first.


	12. On the Train

Dear Diary, today is September 21

It's been two days and I am still in shock.

That's okay, the shock is better than pain, I hold onto the numbness with a death grip, I want to avoid the pain as long as I can to think clearly enough to finish writing, then I can break down.

Why I'm still in shock is no mystery.

Well, _still_ isn't the best choice seeing as plenty more has happened so my shock is less never ending and more just waves that won't let up.

First Red Dawn when… NO! I don't need to think of that while it's still fresh, when I can't analyze.

Second, the Bowl of Bones, we survived. A first. The Scarlet Guard got us out, how did they even know where we were, or needed at help at that exact moment? They are more resourceful than I ever gave them credit for.

Third, I was put on an underground train…? A high-speed long car-like vehicle that shakes and rattles but gets from point a to b very quickly. And at the mercy of the Guard.

Fourth, Mare's brother Shade is still alive, and is part of the Guard.

Fifth, he can teleport. He has Red blood. He's like Mare.

Sixth, there are more like them, Reds with Silver abilities.

It's any wonder I can think straight at all.

I've been getting dirty looks all day, and all evening yesterday, I am the former crown prince, the bother of pure evil apparently.

I don't know where we are going, even if I have freedom of mobility, I have no information. Smart on their part, I wouldn't trust me either, and most of them are 'deserted' soldiers from the front, they have been trained well. Not enough to beat me but I have no energy to fight back.

Even if I did, where would I go? My world has imploded and now I am on the run with a group of terrorists and someone who I have decide if I still love.

The only thing I have decided is that I hate Maven and Elara.

And that I will kill them for what they have done.

Whether that's a solitary mission or with the guard is yet another unknown.


End file.
